Twas the Night Before Christmas - Adulttoymegastore Edition
By Janelle Cheesman, PR Specialist & Sexual Wellness Writer 6 years ago. Posted in Adult Industry News
- ‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all thro’ the Adulttoymegastore Warehouse,
- Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
- The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
- In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
- The ATMS pickers and packers were busy picking sex toys,
- While visions of sugar plums danc’d in their heads,
- The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow,
- Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below;
- When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
- But a minature sleigh, and eight tiny rein-deer,
- With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
- I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick!
- More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
- And he whistled, and shouted, and call’d them by name:
- “Now! Dasher, now! Dancer, now! Prancer, and Vixen,
- “On! Comet, on! Cupid, on! Dunder and Blixem;
- “To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
- “Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!”
- As dry leaves before the wild hurricane fly,
- When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
- So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
- With the sleigh full of Sex Toys - and St. Nicholas too:
- And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
- The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
- As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
- Into the Adulttoymegastore Warehouse St. Nicholas came with a bound:
- He was dress’d all in fur, from his head to his foot,
- And his clothes were all tarnish’d with ashes and soot;
- A bundle of sex toys was flung on his back,
- And he look’d like a peddler just opening his pack:
- His eyes - how they twinkled! his dimples how merry,
- His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry;
- His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
- And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
- The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
- And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
- He had a broad face, and a little round belly
- That shook when he laugh’d, like a bowl full of jelly:
- He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
- And I laugh’d when I saw him in spite of myself;
- A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
- Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
- He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
- And fill’d all the stockings; then turn’d with a jerk,
- And laying his finger aside of his nose
- And giving a nod, out the warehouse he rose.
- He sprung to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
- And away they all flew, like the down of a thistle:
- But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight-
- Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
