It's been said that Brisbane is the most critical of their partners when it comes to sexual performance in the bedroom. This may be potentially linked to why Brisbane reported being one of the more unfaithful states. Every relationship and individual are different and sexual satisfaction has varying levels of importance in each relationship. Being critical in the bedroom can be positive when things are constructive and you are comfortable expressing your desires, fantasies and needs. However, the way in which you measure sexual performance can unnecessarily cause unwanted harm to your partner and personal sex life.
Why are Brisbane citizens so critical? Who knows, maybe it's because they're in Australia's fastest growing city and for the time being, they only demand the best! But in a sexual context, what does being the best really mean? To get you started, sex toys are a great way to understand the frisky fundamentals.
There's one massive reason that vibrators exist, it's fairly common knowledge by now, but sometimes can be useful to remember. About 75% of all women cannot orgasm through penetration alone! This is why we have these mechanical clitoral stimulators, because clitoral stimulation is so important when achieving the big "O." This is easy to forget, further there's the fact that generally women take longer to reach orgasm than men. Sex toys can help shorten that biological gap, where partners have a greater chance of experiencing the often sought after, shared orgasm!
So, how can sharing sex toy help us get a better gauge of a poor or good lover! Well, if you're sharing a sex toy, you are already shown an active care for their pleasure. You want them to enjoy themselves in ways that you cannot provide or cannot consistently provide. Accepting that the normal way of doing things sometimes won't be satisfactory whilst realising that this is no reflection on sexual performance is really empowering. A great lover isn't necessarily the one who gives the most physical effort to pleasure their partner, although effort is great! An awesome lover is the one who is open to alternative means that will please their partner. This is not only satisfying from a stimulation perspective, but the emphasis on caring will make the bedroom and overall relationship more intimate.
Before you even think about using a sex toy together, it needs to be discussed. This is great and might be the first time you've taken the time to discuss desires or fantasies. For some relationships, this may take some time and caution to express, whilst for others it will be like opening some frisky floodgates. Discussion about preferences is the first step towards great sex. How can you judge someone on their sexual performance, if you've never told them what you like! Without any prior communication they are likely to do whatever previous partner have like. Considering everyone's different, it's unlikely that your pleasure will align.
Discovering what each other likes also means covering what you don't like or are not comfortable with. Using sex toys requires the need for more knowledge around being body safe with a certain sex toy. Both partners should know exactly what the toy is used for and how to use it. When using more complex toys or toys with multiple intensities and stimulation points, rabbit vibrators come to mind! Getting familiar with features will get the most pleasurable use out of your toy in the hands of either partner.
Of course, the purpose of many vibrators, dildos and toys for couples is to enable orgasm. However, overly focusing on this might actually have the opposite effect. Ever noticed the harder you try to have an orgasm, the more it escapes you. You've built up to a dead end and although you're begging for a release, the cup just won't seem to overflow. Don't underestimate the power of prolonged foreplay, kissing, stimulating other erogenous zones or dirty talk if you're into it. Sometimes the best way to get over the edge is to focus on other things. Not everyone measures amazing sex as having an orgasm. People want intimacy, comfort, passion, and attentiveness. How to achieve those concepts varies greatly with each person, that's why communication is so important!
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