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The Heat - Sex ArticlesThe Heat - Sex Articles

10 Common Safe Words Used During Bondage

By Orin 2 months ago. Posted in Sexual Health
10 Common Safe Words Used During Bondage

Safe words are absolutely essential in any sex life. Your attitude in the bedroom can fluctuate with the weather. Sometimes you're boring, starfish style and other times you're adventurous, kinky even! Either way, identifying a safe word ensures everyone and anyone involved is comfortable and respected.

One common misconception is that safe words always mean stop! This is not always the case, especially in a BDSM context. Some partners may have 2 or three safe words that represent "stop immediately!" "that feels great keep going" or "any further and I'll be too uncomfortable." Often traffic light terminology is used to connote different feelings.

Identifying a safe word is sexual health and safety 101. It's important to discuss sexual boundaries, what acts are completely restricted and what are enjoyable up to a certain point. This is where safe words are particularly useful, where partners can learn exactly at what point things begin to feel uneasy. This could refer to a certain tightness around bindings, amount of sensory deprivation, spank endurance or even erogenous stimulation. Further, identifying safe words is generally caring and shows appreciation for your partner's pleasure. Partners with a safe word will feel greater intimacy in the bedroom compared to those without.

Here are 10 safe words that are commonly used to ensure sexual safety

1. Pineapple

via GIPHY

Fruit might appear a few times in this list. I'm not sure why it's so popular, but hopefully it's a reflection of balanced diets amongst the BDSM community. American comedian Kevin Hart performed a stand up special discussing his use of "pineapples" in the bedroom. This could be one reason why this fruit reigns supreme amongst the rest. Another reason could be the irritation many people experience when eating a pineapple. Without proper negotiation around consuming a pineapple, all that deliciousness will cause you discomfort. Just like a BDSM session without proper communication.

2. Red, yellow and green

via GIPHY

Road safety meets sexual safety. I'm going to fuse these as a collective because they often accompany the other. Red means stop, yellow means ease up and green means keep going. Pretty self-explanatory really.

3. Safe word

For the no nonsense kinkster. Probably the same people whose passwords are "password." Simple and effective, it's popularity shows that it works. For those couples who want to find a safe word that is unique to them, using "safe word" is like a default choice before you agree upon your sexual semantics.

4. Banana

via GIPHY

Fruit must just be frisky. The banana is the fruit that is most often present in phallic metaphors, penetrates a sexual context yet again. Whenever things get a bit too bananas in the bedroom... say... "banana..."

5. Orange

via GIPHY

One of the few times mixing apples and oranges can be positively used. This safe word could refer to vitamin C rich citrus, could refer to a lukewarm colour. Orange could be another addition to the traffic light system. Where it could be in between, yellow and red. Not suggesting an immediate stop needs to take place, but intensity levels definitely need to lower.

6. Vanilla

via GIPHY

Makes sense, vanilla is the opposite of kinky sex. Doing things, the standard conventional way, no additional features welcome. There’s nothing wrong with being on the vanilla side of the spectrum, having kinkier preferences doesn’t put you on some sort of sexual pedestal. Whatever you're comfortable with in the bedroom is unquestionable and should always be respected.

7. Oklahoma, Palmerston North? Canberra?

via GIPHY

The popularity of this word obviously births from America. The word itself was chosen because apparently the fun stops when you enter Oklahoma. It's interesting to think about what place name people would elect in New Zealand and Australia. Palmerston North for New Zealand and Canberra for Australia? Everyone has a place they’ve particularly disliked, unfortunately, it's often their hometowns.

8. Apple

via GIPHY

A delicious fruit but if we take a religious perspective, a joy stopper. Although a tree climbing snake that offers you free fruit is pretty awesome, the apple was the beginning of destruction and evil. In a sexual context, the mentioning of "apple" is still a forbidden fruit, representing forbidden sexual territory.

9. Blue

via GIPHY

Calming, soothing, wisdom sharing blue, or dull, depressing personal raincloud blue. Whatever the case, if you hear it the motion of the ocean needs to halt. Like a pleasure stopping Poseidon, "blue" means a commanding stop!

10. Foliage

via GIPHY

Made popular after it was used in a famous sitcom romance between Michael Scott and Jan from 'The Office.' A hilariously desperate, toxic and moody relationship, saying "foliage" will prevent yours from being the same.

Remember

Feel free to come up with a safe word for yourself. There's plenty of interesting words people use, the common theme being that they need to disrupt play. When they are said, they should feel out of place. Partners have reported saying "Justin Bieber," in recent years, "Donald Trump" has helped put a stop to any fun. Whatever the case, ensure that both partners have agreed upon the safe word and are completely comfortable communicating with each other.

For those who have fantasies around saying "no" or "stop" during sex. Ensure your safe word has nothing to do with these words! This is a big reason many safe words are abstract, they shouldn't occur naturally during sex.

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