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The Heat - Sex ArticlesThe Heat - Sex Articles

Why You Should Be Enjoying Mutual Masturbation with Adult Toys

By Orin Ruaine-Prattley one year ago. Posted in Relationship Advice
Why You Should Be Enjoying Mutual Masturbation with Adult Toys

It's really intimate!

Being inside your partner doesn't make things intimate! Conventional sex can be prone to lacking intimacy because we think that it's an adequate way of reconnecting. When really, she's thinking about that chocolate eclair in the fridge and he's still thinking over the previous weeks footballing result (stereotypical I know...). For the time being you're just two bodies building friction before you eventually roll over and fall into a thoughtless slumber.


Masturbating together encourages each partner to admire their other half. Watching the elegance of their body as it curves or shakes, maybe the way their face transitions from a sensual scrunch to majestic moan. You may become so focused in on them that you completely forget you're touching yourself!

An easy way to introduce sex toys

Many couples have have an undesirable introductory experience when sharing sex toys. This is because they've excitedly or anxiously got into bed with their partner and gone for gold. They've forgotten to really discuss how the toy is going to be used together, what positions will work best and what settings best suit each partner.

If you want to use adult toys on each other but are unsure exactly how the toy works. Two common examples would be a clitoral vibrator or Fleshlight. Then there's no better way to learn than watching your partner use it on themself!

Take a mental note on how they are motioning and at what point any changes happen. Let's use the Satisfyer Pro 2 Next Generation as an example. This clit suction vibe has 11 vibration programs and has gained some popularity because it doesn’t directly contact the clitoris, making it a comfortable option for sensitive users. If your partner was using this toy, see whether they begin on a lower vibration program and gradually advance as they build towards climax. Otherwise, just ask, they'll thank you for it!

Great for if you're tired or full


Masturbating together is really relaxing, sometimes we might feel guilty not wanting to have sex simply because we are too tired. That's okay! Sometimes life takes priority and our sexual frequency might take a bit of a hit. Just had a big Christmas dinner? Nothing is sexy about getting a stitch mid sex! Mutual masturbation is a great way of keeping your sex lives alive, even in stressful times. Life has your back against the wall? Place a suction cup dildo on that wall and make the most of things!

Encourages communication or a bit of dirty talk


If you're into dirty talk then this was probably given. Although if you're the couple that only starts to talk on the odd especially risqué night, then this is a great chance to experiment. It doesn't have to be anything crazy, do whatever you're comfortable with. This might be just describing what would happen if you were having conventional sex. If neither is into this sort of thing, don't worry about it! The other thing to do would be to stimulate any other erogenous zones that your partner has. Kiss and touch their neck, stimulate her breasts or his perineum, just kiss everywhere, but not so much that they lose their flow!

Understanding your partner's body

Realise that nobody can touch your partner as well as they can! It took you fifteen minutes of oral sex to get her off, while it only took her 5 minutes using her hand. Just like she could never do what your dominant hand can.


Acknowledging this is really positive and can get rid of any false expectations around sex. You're not bad at sex, your partner is just the master of their own orgasm and always will be. Realising this can remind us not to overly focus on our partners orgasm. It's awesome that you care, but there's a lot more to sex than tipping your partner over the edge.


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Orin Ruaine-Prattley
The Heat Sex ArticlesThe Heat Sex Articles
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21st January 2020
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21st January 2020
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20th January 2020
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19th January 2020
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