Kinks, fetishes and BDSM have become increasingly popular so what better way to learn some new terms than with our A – Z of kink, fetishes and BDSM terms? Prepare to be inspired, learn something new and maybe get your plans for the weekend sussed, you’re welcome! But first up, here’s a quick explainer.

What is a kink?

A kink is anything that is considered a “non-traditional” sex act. So, this is going to vary widely depending on who you are talking to and what they consider to be mainstream sex. A common way of thinking about kink is as something that you use to enhance sexual play and pleasure. It might be group sex, role play or spanking with a paddle.

What is a fetish?

A fetish is the sexualization of something that is ordinarily non-sexual, and in most cases, it will feel like a necessary part of your sexual experience. It could be stilettos, feet or latex.

What is BDSM?

BDSM is an acronym for bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism & masochism. The term covers a variety of erotic practices and often includes some form of power exchange.

Let’s dive into the list!

A is for Anal Hook

Kink Tri-tip Anal Hook$75.95Shop Now

Anal hooks combine two of life’s great joys, anal play and BDSM, into a lovely metal package. An anal hook is a metal hook with one shorter end (usually with a ball or multiple balls at the tip) and a longer end with a loop.

The shorter end is inserted into the anus and can be secured in place with a rope or other pieces of restraint gear attached to the loop at the back (that’s where the bondage part comes into play). Regardless of whether you attach anything to it, an anal hook is a great toy as they tend to be relatively thin, and you can use the longer end as a handle to massage the sphincter muscles or the prostate with the balled tip.

Find out more about anal hooks here.

B is for Bondage

Fetish Fantasy Series Pink Passion Bondage Kit$79.95Shop NowBondage Bed Restraint Kit$79.95Shop Now

Bondage is the B in BDSM. Bondage is the practice of consensually restraining, tying or binding a partner. This might be done for erotic or aesthetic purposes. For many people, it’s part of dominant and submissive play and there are lots of ways to explore it.

You can restrict the movement of arms, legs or any other part of their body. Wrist restraints are a simple way to explore, but there are also ankle cuffs, full body restraints like hogties or those that wrap under the bed. Or, for those that are more advanced, there is bondage rope and bondage tape.

C is for Cuckolding

Cuckolding is a kink where a person gets turned on by their partner having sex with someone else. Historically, the term referred to a man who was unknowingly being cheated on by his wife but, in the kink world, the cuckold is aware, consenting and very aroused by their partner having sex with someone else. And in many cases, will even be in the same room to where it’s happening.

And no, it’s not just men that are cucks. Cucks can be any gender and any sexual orientation. All it takes is a couple and a willing and enthusiastic extra, often known as the “bull”.

D is for Dominance

We’ve made it to the D BDSM, dominance. Being a dominant or dom entails holding and exercising control over a submissive partner. It might be a life partner or just a play partner where you take on the role of a dominant and submissive for a play period only.

The D/s relationship involves a consensual, eroticized exchange of power and although the dom is in charge of what happens during a scene, every activity, limit and safeword has been set out beforehand. The role of the dom is to lead, guide, decide and enforce during the scene.

Check out our article for more information: A crash course to being a BDSM dominant.

E is for Erotic Electrostimulation

Electrastim Flick Stimulator Pack$160.95Shop NowMystim Electric Eric Estim Vibrator$159.95Shop Now

Erotic electrostimulation, also known as erotic e-stim or electrosex for short, is the application of electrical stimulation to the nerves of the body for sexual pleasure.

Electrosex is a way of stimulating the genitals and erogenous zone with a safe amount of electrical energy through sex toys, conductive pads, conductive gloves or neon wands. The electric current penetrates right through to the nerve endings of the body. It is a type of stimulation that can be enjoyed solo or with partners.

And you might think it’s all zaps like an electric fence, but the sensations vary widely from a light tickle to a deep throbbing to, yes, the zaps! It all depends on the type of tool you go for.

Check out our article for more information: What is Electrosex?

F is for Foot Fetish

A foot fetish is one of the most common fetishes. It’s a sexual interest in feet, toes or ankles. Or all of the above.

Foot fetishes vary from person to person, but they may be aroused by touching feet, smelling feet, having their feet touched, or even just looking at feet. Of course, massaging and worshipping feet or having your own feet massaged or worshipped might be what gets you going.

As with all fetishes and kinks, the reasons why someone might be into it are varied, but one suggestion with feet is that there are so many nerve endings in our feet which can offer lots of pleasurable sensations, just like our genitals.

G is for Gags

Kinki Woof Bone Bit Gag$24.95Shop NowSaffron Ball Gag$40.95Shop Now

Gags are very popular tools in BDSM as they efficiently denote a submissive and a dominant partner in a scene. Obviously, the submissive partner is the one wearing the gag. A gag restricts the wearer's ability to talk normally, but they can still moan, groan or drool.

There are all sorts of amazing gag styles including ball gags (great for beginners), bar gags (great for roleplay), o-ring gags (great for open-mouth access) and spider gags (for those with more advanced experience).

As the person wearing the gag won’t be able to speak, a safe word isn’t going to work here, so decide on a hand signal beforehand which they can use to signal they need to take a break.

H is for Humiliation Kink

A humiliation kink refers to someone being sexually aroused by being degraded or embarrassed. It’s a form of BDSM play where you create a power dynamic to excite the person being humiliated. Of course, the person doing the humiliating likely gets a kick out of it too.

If you think you might be into it, this is a very easy kink to explore as you can get everything you need just by using verbal remarks. You can call each other degrading names, talk about how small a particular body part is or even tell the other person how stupid they are.

Of course, there are physical ways of doing this too. Making your partner beg, pet play where one partner is forced to dress up and/ or act like an animal, or urinating, ejaculating or squirting on your partner.

I is for Impact Play

Scandal Flogger$54.95Shop NowBound X Cricket Bat Paddle$48.95Shop Now

Impact play is the name for any form of play involving spanking and the impact of the skin for stimulation. Whether that be soft and sensual or hard and stingy. It’s a common BDSM practice with lots of options for tools you can.

Here’s a quick rule to keep in mind. The bigger and more flexible an impact tool is, the less it is going to hurt. This is because a wider tool spreads the impact across a wider area making the sensation less intense. However, a smaller surface area and firmer material are going to sting much more. This is because the impact occurs in a more pinpoint area making it feel a lot more intense.

I recommend starting with a hand to get a feel for the sensation and how intense you like it before you move into paddles, floggers or crops.

J is for JOI (jerk off instruction)

JOI is a common porn and cam kink where the person on the screen gives specific instructions to the viewer on how they can touch themselves. There are lots of ways to approach this, and it can be performed as part of humiliation, edging or the girlfriend experience where the person instructing is gently guiding the other person in pleasure.

You can also include this kind of play into your in-person sex life by instructing each other within the room and telling your partner how and when to touch themselves. And don’t forget the fan-favourite, the come countdown where you give them a countdown from 10 when they are close to climax. The goal here is that they orgasm on the 1.

K is for Knife Play

Electro Shock Blade With Handle$54.95Shop NowDuo Sensory Wheel$32.95Shop Now

Knife play is a form of consensual edge play involving knives, daggers and swords for physical and mental stimulation. The knives can be used to cut away clothing or lingerie, remove wax after wax play, for sensual stimulation of the skin, or to lightly scratch the skin.

Knife play is on the more extreme end of BDSM, but there are plenty of ways to explore it without drawing blood or causing pain.

One option is to use acrylic knives that won’t damage the skin but will still create the illusion of holding a knife. These knives tend to have blunt textured edges, so they feel pleasurable dragged along your skin.

Another option is to start off with a Wartenberg Wheel. It’s not the same thing, but it’s a great beginner’s tool for exploring sensation play on the skin. Use it lightly to start, then add more pressure if you want it to feel like more of a scratch.

L is for Latex

Premium Latex Crop Top And Hot Pants Set - S/m$110.95Shop NowPremium Elbow Length Latex Gloves - M/l$70.95Shop Now

Latex is a common fetish item, and it’s easy to see why. It’s smooth, shiny and extremely tight when it’s worn.

Clothing, gloves, tights, masks and lingerie are easy ways to explore it, but there are also sheets and covers made of latex too. Latex is naturally matte, but it comes to life when you shine it up! You can shine your latex with silicone lubricant.

M is for Masochism

A masochist is someone who gets sexual pleasure from their pain or humiliation. Playing with a masochist may involve them being spanked, flogged, tied up, having rough sex, humiliated or degraded.

It’s important to remember that in a scene, consent is paramount, and everything that happens will be laid out and agreed on beforehand. This means that any pain inflicted on the masochist happens with enthusiastic consent.

N is for Nipple Clamps

First Time Fetish Nipple Teasers$18.95Shop NowPlayful Weighed Nipple Clamps$74.95Shop Now

The nipples are a highly sensitive part of the body meaning they can experience a lot of pleasure… and a lot of pain. Using nipple clamps alters the blood flow throughout the nipple which creates a totally new sensation.

When you clamp the nipples, you will feel intense pressure and a pinching feeling. You can then tug on the clamps to increase that pressure or leave them on and play as you want to. You can also keep them on and go to town on the nipples sucking and kissing to see how it feels different to the same type of attention without the clamps.

And while they are fun to wear, and look super cool, the real fun comes when you remove the clamps.

When they are removed the blood comes rushing back into the clamped area which can be an extremely pleasurable and exhilarating experience. As the blood comes back you get a sharp flow of pain and endorphins at the same time. It’s great to match this with orgasm for an extremely intense experience.

O is for Orgasm Denial

Strict Padlock Harness$85.95Shop NowKink Range Spiraled Chastity Cage - 50mm$69.95Shop Now

Orgasm denial is a kink that can be a lot of fun and has some pretty cool benefits! Orgasm denial is the deliberate postponing or denial of climax. Basically, you get close to orgasm, and then the kissing, the touching, the licking, the thrusting or whatever it is that is pleasing you slows down or stops entirely.

In some cases, sexual activity will start again, but not always. This kink is all about playing with sexual anticipation and intensifying and prolonging the sexual encounter. Like many kinks, there’s a power dynamic involved here with one partner being in control of the other's orgasm. It’s all part of the fun!

Some people use chastity devices to raise the stakes on this even more for prolonged orgasm denial.

P is for Praise Kink

If your love language is words of affirmation, then a praise kink may be for you. It’s a kink category where giving or receiving admiration, compliments, and positive affirmation turns you on. It’s basically compliments as foreplay, using the power of words to get each other off. It could be as simple as “good girl” or more specific like “no one can make me come as hard as you can”. If this sounds like a bit of you, grab your star chart and start praising.

And just so you know, the erotic audio app Quinn has a whole category decided to praise kinks, so you get your thrills without needing anyone else to play with.

Q is for Queening

More famously known by its gender-neutral moniker face-sitting (but you know, I needed a Q), queening is the act of straddling someone’s face to receive oral sex. The term was coined by the fem-dom community, stemming from the image of a queen sitting on her throne and is a more dominant receiving position that most other oral sex positions.

It’s a hell of a way to play with domination and submission in your relationship. But even if you aren’t into that, the position offers a very intense sensation for the receiver as your body is in such close contact with your partner’s face.

R is for Rope Play

Kink Hogtie Bind & Tie 6mm Wrist Or Ankle Cuffs$31.95Shop NowShare Satisfaction Luxury Bondage Rope 10m$14.95Shop Now

Rope bondage is an incredibly popular practice of using rope tying for erotic and aesthetic purposes. There are two terms you will often see about rope tying. The first is ‘shibari’ which means to tie in Japanese. The second is ‘kinbaku’ which is a newer term meaning the art of aesthetic rope, the literal translation being “tight binding”.

Rope tying is an accessible form of play that is not limited by gender, sexual orientation or body type. However, it does require a lot of knowledge to be performed safely so look out for a class or a shibari educator who can guide you on your journey.

S is for Submission

Premium Collar With Leash$52.95Shop Now

The S in BDSM refers to submission (and sadism). Submission is where one partner shows obedience to the dominant partner’s actions and wishes. A submissive or sub willingly gives control and power to their dom. It might be just for a scene, or it could occur in all aspects of their life if they are a lifestyle sub.

A submissive gets pleasure from activities that involve being disciplined, tied up, punished or spanked. It’s important to know that even though a sub gives control to a dom, everything that occurs during a scene has been negotiated and agreed upon by the submissive before play, and all happens with their consent.

T is for Tentacles

Wild Cthulhu Tentacle Dildo$85.95Shop NowWild Tentacle Of Scylla Fantasy Dildo$76.95Shop Now

Tentacles seem to be all the rage at the moment with tentacle art, tentacle porn and tentacle sex toys all having a moment. But you might be surprised to hear that tentacle porn has been around for a long time.

The Japanese artist Katsushika Hokusai painted a picture in his novel ‘The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife’ in 1814, which depicted an octopus performing consensual cunnilingus on an abalone diver. No, that’s not a typo. 1814. And thus, the eroticisation of tentacles was born.

For those who want to explore tentacle play, there are a bunch of tentacle dildos, butt plugs and grinders to play with.

Even if you aren’t into tentacle porn, there’s something seriously cool about tentacle dildos. They come in all sorts of fun shapes and are highly stimulating inside the body due to all that texture.

U is for Urethral Sounding

Kink Range Stainless Steel 7 Piece Penis Plug Set $45.95Shop NowKink Range Stainless Steel Twisted Penis Plug 5.9 Inches$49.95Shop Now

Urethral sounding involves inserting a toy into the urethra. It’s usually done by those with a penis but can be done by anyone. And I know you are wondering why people are into this, but it can actually feel pleasurable for people.

The penis has a lot of nerve endings and urethral sounds, and penis plugs can reach as the urethra passes by many of these sensitive areas. If it’s inserted deep enough, it can even stimulate the prostate. For those with a vulva, the urethra passes the clitoris, and the g-spot so can create pleasurable sensations as it passes by.

They are also popular tools for medical role-play scenes and are used as a tool for domination or humiliation.

For more information, check out our article: Top 5 reasons to try a penis plug.

V is for Voyeurism

Voyeurism is a very popular kink! It’s where you become turned on by watching someone undress or engage in sexual behaviour. I want to be clear that a voyeurism kink is doing so consensually, as in the other person knows they are being watched. This might include watching a strip show or live sex show, or watching others have sex at a sex party. Even watching your partner undress or masturbate can be considered voyeurism.

Doing it without consent is called a voyeuristic disorder and it’s illegal so make sure you are doing it with consent and not crossing any boundaries.

W is for Watersports

Guard Gag Piss$149.95Shop NowLatrine Extreme Funnel Gag$72.95Shop NowNuru Inflatable Vinyl Massage Sheet$111.95Shop Now

Watersports is an umbrella term for any activity involving urine. It could be golden showers (getting urinated on), piss gags (a funnel gag attached to a mouth that others can urinate into), or simply experiencing arousal from watching others urinate or having others watch you urinate.

Some people even enjoy drinking others’ urine or having others drink their urine. In some cases, people like the warmth of it and for others it can be a form of humiliation or domination. And yes, it’s pretty safe to do. Urine is relatively sterile, just make sure it’s not going into any open wounds.

X is for WaX Play (I know it’s cheating)

Kinki Japanese Drip Candles - 3 Pack$14.95Shop NowYeahwow Flaming Rose Drip Candle$39.95Shop Now

For the X, we have waX play… Look, finding terms for 26 different letters is hard, okay? And wax play is super fun, so it deserves to be on the list. Wax play is where hot wax is dripped onto someone for pleasure, teasing and a little sting. But don’t just use any candle for this. There are play-specific candles that burn at a lower temperature than your everyday candles, meaning that they won’t burn skin.

Y is for Yes/ no/ maybe list

Yes/ no/ maybe lists are an amazing tool for sexual communication within a relationship, particularly so for BDSM play. The idea is that you and your partner each get a list of sexual acts and you can say whether that is a yes, a no, or a maybe for you. You can then compare the lists with your partner and see where your yeses and your maybes line up.

It’s a fun way of opening conversations about new ways to explore pleasure together without feeling embarrassed or nervous. You never know what you might both be into.

Z is for Zentai

Zentai is a skin-tight bodysuit that covers the entire body, including the head. The suits are commonly made using nylon/ spandex blends to stretch over the body and still allow the wearer to breathe and see easily. For some people, Zentai is worn as part of performance art and for others, it’s worn as fetish wear.

Read next:

• What’s the difference between a kink and a fetish?
• A crash course in BDSM for newbies
• Common but harmful misconceptions about BDSM

Content disclaimer:

Adulttoymegastore does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment for illness. Any information published on this website, either by Adulttoymegastore or its authors, is not intended to be a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a medical professional.