How to Use Dildos With a Partner

Learn how to safely and pleasurably use dildos with a partner. Explore communication, technique, preparation, and toy selection tips to enhance intimacy.

When it comes to sex toys you can use with a partner, a dildo might not be the first thing you think about. However, using a dildo with your partner can be a great way to enhance intimacy and pleasure. No matter your gender or sexuality, you can include dildos in your sex life with ease.

Whilst most of us view dildos as toys for masturbation, they make a great toy for couples too. No matter whether you're a vulva-owner or a penis-owner, a dildo is pleasurable for anyone who uses it. Using a dildo with a partner can help enhance intimacy and introduce new sensations into the bedroom.

You don't need to feel awkward about introducing a dildo into your sex life, either. Exploring sex toys is a fun, sensual experience that you can share with your partner. Embrace the excitement that comes with discovering all the ways you can use it to enhance your pleasure!

Using a dildo with a partner can be revolutionary in the bedroom when it's done right. That being said, it's important to make sure you don't move too fast. Discuss it with your partner first and ensure that they're comfortable exploring with dildos in the bedroom. Communicate with them throughout sex to make sure they remain comfortable and enjoy what's happening. Do your research beforehand and make sure that your dildo and lube are compatible, too.

Choosing the Right Dildo for You Both

Choosing the right dildo for you and your partner is just as important as how you use it. It's important to consider factors such as shape, size, material, and flexibility. You should also consider whether you want to use the dildo on only one of you or use it together at the same time.

If you've never used a dildo before, it's best to start with one on the smaller size or realistically sized, particularly if you're using it anally. This allows your body to adjust to the size and sensations, and you can get a taste for the kind of pleasure your body wants.

Extra features can come into play, too. Harness compatibility, suction cups, and vibrations could be important depending on how you're planning on using your dildo. You might enjoy a realistic-looking and feeling dildo or prefer one that prioritises pleasure and texture over realism.

The Nood Realskin Dildo is a great choice for those looking for a realistic dildo. It has a lifelike look and feel that replicates a real penis. It even has balls! The suction cup means you can attach it to the floor, wall, headboard, or shower for a variety of enjoyable positions. This toy is great for roleplaying and for a realistic sensation just as good as the real thing.

Alternatively, the Amore Gradient Silicone Dildo eschews the lifelike look in favour of targeting your pleasure points. It has a tapered tip designed to stimulate your G-Spot or P-Spot during penetration. Its smooth silicone surface easily slides into you, making using it a breeze. The suction cup lets you enjoy anywhere in any position - just stick it down and enjoy. This dildo is sure to please you or your partner.

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Communication and Consent

Before introducing a dildo into sex with your partner, it's important to discuss it with them first. They may not be comfortable incorporating a dildo or may be unsure about how you want to use it. Whilst using a toy can enhance intimacy, your partner may not have considered it before. Discussing your boundaries before play ensures you're both on the same page.

How you approach this conversation can alter your partner's reaction. Only telling your partner you want to incorporate a dildo into sex may create feelings of inadequacy and nervousness. This could lead to an anxious partner and worse sex. Instead, approaching it from an angle of fulfilling a fantasy or kink may lead to higher acceptance. Expressing your fantasies to your partner can help make them more excited about the idea. As an example, you could express to them that you'd like to use a dildo while they go down on you or explore the sensation of double penetration. This can help them understand your reasoning and become more open to the idea.

When you use a dildo during sex, make sure to communicate often with your partner. You want to make sure that you're not penetrating too hard or fast, and that it's going at a comfortable rhythm. Establishing a safe word or signal for stopping or adjusting beforehand can be a good way to make sure everyone is comfortable.

Preparation and Safety

Before use, make sure to clean your sex toy. If you're planning on switching the toy between yourself and your partner, it could be a good idea to clean it between uses or use a condom. Once you're finished, give it another good clean so it's ready for storage. Using a safe, clean dildo is the best way to prevent infections and make your experience more enjoyable. The best way to clean your toys is with warm water and soap, or with a toy cleaner. If you'd like to know more, The Ultimate Guide to Cleaning and Storing Your Sex Toys walks you through everything you need to know.

Warming up with foreplay or smaller toys can be a great way to prepare your body. Seducing your partner before sex relaxes their body and builds arousal, which will make a dildo more enjoyable for them. Similarly, teasing them with a smaller toy and building up anticipation for the dildo can help warm them up.

Lube is always a good idea. If you're planning on using a dildo anally, lubricant is a must-have. However, not all lubes are compatible with all toys. If you have a silicone dildo, using a water-based lubricant is best. Silicone toys aren't compatible with silicone lubricant, and you shouldn't use them together. Stick to a water-based lube! If you have a metal or glass toy, you can choose between a silicone-based lube or a water-based one.

I'd recommend using Share Satisfaction Water Based Lubricant for all your lube needs. It's compatible with all types of toys and condoms, so you can safely use it for any kind of penetration. Cleaning is a breeze as it's water-based, so it's super easy to clean. Not only that, but it does a great job of being a lube – it's nice and slippery without feeling tacky. As far as lubes go, this one is perfect for penetration.

When you need to clean your dildo, the Share Satisfaction Foaming Toy Cleaner should be your go-to. It's gentle, quick, and leaves no residue on your toys. You can also use it on any type of toy, not only your dildo. The easy pump bottle design makes it simple to clean your toys in the blink of an eye. The Share Satisfaction Foaming Toy Cleaner makes cleaning up a breeze.

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Techniques for Partner Play

Now it's time for what you really want to know – how do you use dildos with a partner? There are a variety of techniques that you can use, and it depends on how you use them. Are you using it on only one of you, taking turns, or using a double-ended dildo? These options all have a variety of possibilities and positions.

Taking turns with a dildo can be a sensual way to experiment with your partner. Challenge each other and see who can make the other person orgasm fastest with the dildo. Using the dildo that made you orgasm on your partner can be very erotic. Try a variety of positions at the same time – squatting, standing, and lying down all feel different. Exploring each of these positions with your partner can be a fun, sexy way to spice things up in the bedroom.

Try combining the sensations a dildo can bring with oral, vaginal, or anal stimulation. One way is to penetrate your partner with the dildo while going down on them. Stimulation from your mouth and a dildo can bring them to orgasm much faster – it's literally double the pleasure. Penetrating your partner while making out or stimulating their nipples is another great option. Combining the sensation of penetration with pleasure all over their body creates an intense feeling sure to please.

Dildo play with your partner doesn't have to all be about intercourse, though. Incorporating a dildo into your foreplay can ramp up your anticipation for sex. Teasing your partner with a dildo helps build arousal and excitement for intercourse. Using a dildo as a focal point for foreplay can help make both of you hornier and ready for sex.

Experimenting with angles, speed, and rhythm is key to making it pleasurable for both you and your partner. Different positions can change the angle, letting the dildo stimulate different parts of your body for completely different sensations. The speed and rhythm at which you penetrate completely changes the feeling. Slow, sensual penetration can help you savour the feeling. Fast, swift penetration can help push you over the edge of orgasm and overstimulate you. Try both to see which one you like best! Mixing speeds and rhythms during play can make the experience more enjoyable and bring you to orgasm faster.

Enhancing Intimacy and Connection

Using sex toys with your partner is great at enhancing intimacy and connection. We're here to give you some tips on how to take it to the next level.

Focus on mutual pleasure, not performance. You shouldn't feel obligated to prove your sexual prowess or show that you're better than a dildo. A dildo and a person have completely different sensations and connotations. A dildo can provide pleasurable stimulation, but you provide an emotional and physical connection that no sex toy could ever replicate. You should instead focus on not only your partner's pleasure, but also your own. Embrace the pleasure that a dildo can provide and use it to augment your sex, rather than treat it as a competitor.

Roleplay is perfect for spicing things up in the bedroom. If you fantasise about double penetration, use the dildo and your partner to make that fantasy a reality. One great roleplay scenario is to treat the dildo as if it were your partner and show them exactly what you'll do to them later. Use roleplay to drive your partner (and yourself) wild. Including your dildo makes it feel more real and even hotter!

Constantly get feedback from your partner. Let them tell you what feels good, and what they want more of. Listening to their needs and wants helps build intimacy, and giving them the sensations they're asking for is a surefire way to make them orgasm. If they're not giving you feedback, ask them for it. Asking them if it's feeling good or hitting the spot can build arousal for both you and them, and they can tell you exactly how they want it.

Troubleshooting and Adjustments

Of course, sex doesn't go perfectly every time. Sometimes you need to adjust to make sure both of you are comfortable. The same is true for using a dildo. If you're uncomfortable or experiencing discomfort, try changing the technique you're using. If discomfort persists, you may need to adjust the size of the toy you're using and try something a bit smaller until your body adjusts to the larger size.

Don't dive in headfirst to the larger and more complex dildos. Work your way up to them in increments. Gradually increasing the size and girth of a dildo is a good way to get your body acclimatised to the size and shape of large dildos. Similarly, using a vibrating dildo turned off can get your body adjusted to the sensation before turning on the vibrations.

Make sure to take the time to reassure your partner about comfort and boundaries. Tell them when it's comfortable as well as when it's not. This way, they’ll get a better grasp of what positions and techniques feel best for you as well as the ones that don't. Reassuring them of your boundaries helps build connection and confidence using toys, so you can relax in the moment. And, of course, bear in mind that people's preferences change over time. What your partner might have enjoyed 6 months ago may no longer be as enjoyable to them now. Constantly checking in and trying new things keeps sex exciting and fun for you both.

Exploring Advanced Play

Standard dildos not doing it for you? Don't worry – there are a number of advanced dildos for you to enjoy. Whether it's a strap-on, double-ended dildo, or a temperature-based dildo, you can enjoy all kinds of sensations.

Strap-ons are perfect for changing the penetration dynamic. Instead of using your hands or having the dildo stuck to a wall or floor, you can instead replicate PIV sex (Penile-Vaginal Intercourse). Pegging is perfect for spicing up your sex life. For heterosexual couples, it completely switches the penetration dynamic, and for same-sex couples, it can provide new sensations and increased intimacy. The Bound Luxury Pegging Panty With Dildo is a great first step into pegging. You don't have to deal with any buckles or harnesses. Slip these panties on and you're ready to go! The dildo is removable as well, so you can use it however you want. If you want to feel the sensations of your partner thrusting into you, pegging is just the thing for you.

If you want to share the dildo with your partner at the same time, a double-ended dildo sounds right up your alley. These dildos are longer than usual, with two heads. This lets you both enjoy penetration at the same time. Pair this with the limitless new positions you can try, and you're in for a world of pleasure. The Double Ended Dildo from the Aeystheter Collection would be my pick. This pink dildo has a realistic shape and is flexible enough to be enjoyed in a variety of positions. Enjoy the teasing stimulation of the prominent veins and their oh-so-satisfying texture. It's almost impossible to tell the difference between this toy and the real thing.

Try a completely new material and sensation with a glass dildo. These dildos feel much firmer and more rigid than silicone dildos, making them perfect for precise stimulation. Glass can also be warmed up or cooled down, so you can experiment with temperature play as well. Soak your glass dildo in a bowl of warm water to make them glass nice and warm, or put it in the fridge to cool it down. Using a warm or cold toy on your partner's body can heighten their senses and drive them wild. The Lucent Teardrops Glass Massager is my choice. The teardrop texture is designed to stimulate your body, and the straight glass shaft makes precise stimulation easy. A bulbed handle gives you complete control over it, as well. Glass dildos are a window into a world of pleasure – you really do just have to try it!

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Conclusion & Encouragement

Using a dildo with a partner can revolutionise your sex life. However, it's not as simple as simply introducing a dildo during sex. Communicating your needs and ensuring you're both comfortable are the most important aspects of pleasurable partner play. Whether you're incorporating a dildo into roleplay, fantasies, or foreplay, communication is key. Let your partner know what is working for you, and what isn't.

Sex toys are designed to augment sex, not replace it. A dildo is not your competitor – it's a tool for pleasure, for both of you. You shouldn't feel insecure about your partner enjoying a dildo. A dildo can provide sensations that are pleasurable, but nothing compared to the pleasure you can give your partner based on your close emotional connection and intimacy. Use your dildo as a tool for pleasure and combine it with the pleasure you can give for twice the fun!

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The information in this article has been fact-checked and reviewed for accuracy by Adulttoymegastore’s team of content specialists and sexual wellness experts.

Adulttoymegastore does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment for illness. Any information published on this website, either by Adulttoymegastore or its authors, is not intended to be a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a medical professional.