The quality of everyone's sex life fluctuates. Sometimes it will be full of passionate energy, sometimes it will be dull and tired. There are many reasons why this is the case, but to keep things brief, basically life happens. You can't always prioritise sex as much as you'd like and you end up in this cycle of sometimes great, sometimes bad and mostly average sex.
Every now and then something might happen during sex that feels better than usual, the thing that inspired that extra raunchiness, intimacy or energy during lovemaking. These little moments are often experienced, enjoyed and then unfortunately forgotten. The next time you have sex, you’re thinking "I'll do that again" or "I hope that happens again” and it never comes. Your left thinking, "why didn’t it work that time" or “what on earth did I even do again.” The negative thing about this is that it might put a bit of a dent on your sexual ego, you've gone from maestro to average joe in 24 hours. But why? What's the difference? You spelt "chocolate" with your tongue, but the ecstasy reaching, muscle contracting, orgasm inducing melt away never occurred.
Well thankfully, there's a solution to unlocking the puzzling pleasure that escapes us every day. Sex journaling! It's pretty self-explanatory really. Noting down all the noteworthy things that happen in your sex life. This doesn't have to be a detailed breakdown of everything that happens. However, it can be if you want, could even make your own erotica if you like! Sex journaling just needs to be a sexy sentence or two, maybe even some kinky keywords that identify the most pleasurable moments and why you think it might have occurred. For example, "foreplay was longer than usual, sensations felt better, felt more intimate" or "spontaneously happened while we prepared dinner, reached orgasm really quickly, dinner was a bit overcooked but really intimate!"
This can help you understand why you were so turned on that night, which motions were best and if you're using sex toys, what settings or motions felt the best. Just like any skill, it doesn't happen overnight, well sex often does happen overnight… You know what I mean... Being great at sex takes time, focus and most importantly, communication with your partner(s)!
There is a selection of adult toys that would be great to add to your journal, meaning just about all of them. Journaling toys that have various settings and features will help keep track of what worked well and what didn't.
Was your favourite vibrator used during foreplay, before or both? Did you prefer when you used it, or your partner used it? What positions were best used with the vibrator? What aspects did you like about the toy itself?
Here's two vibes to kick off your journal. Firstly, we have the incredible noteworthy Satisfyer Pro Penguin Next Generation. The Satisfyer range are an incredible range of clitoral stimulators that provide touch free pleasure through pressure waves. These sorts of vibrators are currently sweeping the world because they are so hygienic and because they can get you off in record time! Another wonderful option is the Womanizer Pro 40. With 6 levels of clit suctioning goodness to experience, your sex journal will almost fill itself!
Anal play might be something you may only get to experience every now and then, so taking note is really important! Again, this could be commenting on what motions felt good. A really good idea would be to note down anything you noticed about body safety! Did you need to relax your body more? More or less lubricant next time? Could you or your partner have communicated more? Once the body safe stuff is completely covered, then you should move onto maximising pleasure!
A butt plug is an awesome place to start. People use butt plugs in all sorts of contexts, makes your time here a bit more fulfilling. I've heard of people popping one in whilst going to the supermarket, working at an office job or even reading erotica. There's nothing stopping you from writing about the butt plug whilst your using it! That will probably be the best way to get an accurate description anyway.
If you'd like a never-ending list of pleasurable moments to write about, this Beginners Fantasy Kit is your go to! Including a prostate stimulator, anal beads, finger sleeves, a butt plug and a beaded probe expect no shortage of writing material. This is a great opportunity to experience everything and see what you would like to experience more of, note that down!
Anyone remember that joke where someone would tell you to type "pen island" into Google? Pretty immature I know, but 'Penisland' might be a good header for this part of your journal!
Penetrate that pesky writing block with a dildo, and some lubricant of course! There are so many ways to experiment with a dildo. Whether it's different positions, different features, double penetration or using a strap on. The differing depths, widths and girths are all memorable measurements for your naughty notes. Two popular places to start is this Basix 6 Inch Suction Cup Dildo or Mark 02 Dual Density Dildo.
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